For over two decades I have been fascinated by the causes of Autism and finding the best ways to connect with children and adults with cognitive deficits. The joy I receive from my work in a public school system is immeasurable. I have enjoyed the challenge of helping to untangle roadblocks in children’s minds and turning the education system of hard and fast rules on its head. It’s an honor to deconstruct a system originally created to supply literate employees for factory work during the industrial revolution over a century ago. We now need a populace that can think outside the box and come up with innovative ways to solve old and new problems of our aging society.
I enjoy the challenges presented each day and try to solve the particular puzzle each child’s cognitive abilities present. The fact is that many of these kids “On the Spectrum”, as we are now defining it, are wise beyond measure. They are left handed artists and brilliant designers and mathematical whiz kids and fabulous story creators.
The old systems don’t work for them. They need cozy corners with pillows and standing desks to be creative so that the movements of their body don’t distract from the tasks at hand. They need structure but also flexibility to self select work groups weekly if not daily. They need to be able to use new writing tools like iPads or the co-writer app that allow them to speak their alternate ending for a book that ends really sadly rather than write it in what they deem as chicken scratch.
For some children the fine motor skills just aren’t there yet they see how their writing differs from others their age and a negative self talk becomes their mantra, “I can’t do it, my writing looks like a baby did it.” The brilliance is in the people we surround these kids with who also think creatively and pull out all the stops to find the success in alternative ways of expression be it scribing or new technology. Shaming these kids who are developing different skills at different times than typical students is very common but rarely effective.
Balance and connection with others has often been deemed as the key to a happy life. Finding ways to regroup and work effectively is necessary to a successful classroom or workplace. The importance of this is often overlooked in busy classrooms with 30+ kids all clamoring for help and attention for their particular needs at any given time.
The interesting thing is that there is a new revolution taking place around the world in this new millennium and it is playing out in global schools. Inclusion of all kinds of kids in schools helps everyone grow up into adults who have the potential to accept each other’s deficits. Admit it you have deficits too. You may not have a tic or be on the Spectrum but you may have been a mathematical genius in school but couldn’t write a story to save your soul or you may have let a crippling fear of speaking in public derail a new job prospect.
We all struggle with things we can’t do well and often pair up in marriage or communal settings to offset our deficits and enrich our lives. Some self isolate becoming crippled with anxiety robbing the greater populace of their gifts and talents.
To quote a line from a children’s book “It’s Okay to be Different” by Todd Parr who says Different is just Different and Thats Ok”, We have to accept that not everyone is destined for a life in academia or medicine if that’s the goal of some parents or teachers but may be truly talented in mechanics or art or the culinary arts. We have to meet kids where they are and advocate to expose them to all kinds of different work modalities so that they can choose for themselves what makes their heart fill with joy throughout their lives.
Some European education systems track kids into different career paths according to their academic testing with the good test takers tracked for doctors and economists etc and the lower scoring mates tracked into service jobs. This may seem harsh in our individualistic society but it has some advantages. It shows kids that money isn’t the only thing that matters in a balanced society but that we need all kinds of employees with different skills to function effectively. Doctors may not want or need to know how to change an oil filter in their car and an auto mechanic may not want or need to know how to perform a lung transplant. Each act is a type of surgery and is necessary for healthy operation of the auto or body.
Around the globe we see education as the great equalizer. The one aspect of our modern lives that can allow our children to climb out of poverty or develop new ways to succeed where no one has before. A struggle is going on in schools around this nation that must be acknowledged. The needs of today’s kids are different than they were say 100 or even 30 years ago. The reality that more than 50% of their mothers are working outside the home on top of their home and family duties can not be underestimated as a modern stressor for women and their kids.
Learning new coping skills is paramount to success at home , at work or in school. Allowing short breaks to refocus an active mind or body can reset it to calm. Five deep breaths in and out to the count of ten for each breath can rebalance the cardiovascular and nervous systems. Try it right now. Try it anytime of day when your brain needs a reboot and you don’t have an apple around. Eating an apple when you are fading actually can be a great pick me up in the afternoon and is much more nutritious than that third or forth cup of coffee that may give you the jitters and keep you up half the night.
A few deep, mindful breaths can actually change our pulse. Giving children and adults tools to heal an anxious mind can free our inhibitions and open the heart to a transformative growth mindset. There is no doubt that cognitive behavior therapy works for adults and kids. By recognizing that we each see life events through a lens that reflects our past experience and may cause us to miscalculate any given event and squew it’s importance. The self check of asking ourselves “is this a big problem or a little problem” can help keep things in perspective.
Today’s kids need us to self regulate and teach them how to do the same. Living life in a high reactivity or anxious state is not optimum for healthy happy interactions with peers or the self. These kids on the Spectrum are teaching us a thing or two and forcing us to adapt the aging models we have come to rely on so heavily. Expanding our scope of understanding difference as not a bad thing but a new paradigm for growth. “Viva la difference”!
